Story Behind The Song

Based upon the actual sale at public auction on a box lot containing figurines of (as the ringman described it) cats, dogs and oriental women.

Song Description

When you attend a auction you should always be fully aware of your surroundings and what you're hands are doing!

Lyrics

Well I was sittin? around the house last Monday night
There was nothing on the tube, not even the fights
When I saw in the paper there?s an auction today
So I jumped in my car and headed over that way
Well this place was loaded, ?twas a sight to behold
A packrat?s dream of the mother lode
They had mowers, tillers, antique things
And jewelry boxes with ten thousand rings
Stuff was everywhere, all lined up in rows
And the smell of buttered popcorn filled my nose
I got myself a number and started lookin? around
When I heard a voice rise above the crowd
?Ok, let?s see, we got us some items here?
It was the ringman talking to the auctioneer
?There?s half a dozen, no make that seven?
Of cats, dogs..?and oriental women?

?Who?ll give me a dollar?? the auctioneer asked,
?Who?ll give me a dollar?? he said real fast
Well not a hand was raised not even a brow
then the ring man said, ?Throw in this cow?
?It?s a Royal Copley? what ever that is
?Now who?ll give a dollar?? he asked again
A hundred hands and numbers flew up in the air
all tryin? to catch the eye of the auctioneer
Folks was winkin? and blinkin? and noddin? and leanin?
and the ringman and him well they started grinnin?
He got a bid of fifty and then seventy-five
and somebody hollered out ?I?ll give ninety-nine!?
He was askin? for a hundred when I saw old Jim,
he was across the room and I waved to him
I heard a ?Thank you sir? but I wasn?t biddin?
on those cats, dogs, and oriental women

There was some mistake somebody screwed up
And it was just about to cost me a hundred bucks
He said, ?Who?ll give me a hundred and ten??
Well he looked at me and I looked at him
I drove home from the auction last Monday night
My little trip was gonna end in a fight
When my wife found out how much money I spent
On those cats, dogs?and Oriental women
On those cats, dogs?and Oriental women