Story Behind The Song

The words were originally written out of frustration with God and life and feeling like every time it seems good is going to come my way, those hopes and dreams get crushed at the last possible minute. When I started putting it to music and wrote what would become the first verse, it had taken on a different meaning to me. I was frustrated with myself, with my attitude and struggle with depression. I felt as though every time I had my bad attitude dead to rights and was really taking off in my faith, circumstances would overwhelm me and my depression would come back with a vengeance. I was so sick of what I viewed as three steps forward and four steps back. I just wanted to be free and clear of being hung up on the past and on my circumstances. I wanted to stop reliving my hurts over and over. The Doug Flutie reference is a metaphor. In 1984 Boston College beat Miami on a ridiculous last second hail mary pass from Doug Flutie to Gerard Phelan. Miami thought they had the game. There was no way a ball could be thrown that far into the heavy swirling winds. It was impossible. But it happened. It's a perfect metaphor for the way I often feel about my circumstances. I'm doing great, God seems to be working, I'm growing in my faith, and then all of the sudden I get beat deep by something that I think couldn't possibly beat me.

Lyrics

I've had enough of these heartaches and hangovers
It's time for something new

I've been working my hands down to the bone
Trying to lift this immovable millstone
I've been running in circles chasing
My own tail I never quite catch up

I've had enough of these 4th quarter comeback failures
Getting beat by Doug Flutie and Gerard Phelan
I've seen this game too many times before
And I'm so damn sick of 1984

I've had enough of these heartaches and hangovers
It's time for something new