Story Behind The Song

True story of my experience of sexual abuse at church by an older boy when I was 10 yeare old. I buried the memory until I was 42 and recalled it when my own son reached 10 years old. I was struggling with intimacy in my marriage and writeing the song helped me in the healing process.

Song Description

It starts in the present . He sees himself as frozen in time emotionally and how he's been locked up in a cell within for 30 years since the time of being sexually abused. The songs moves backward in time to his teen years when he could not discover intimacy with a girl becuase he was frozen, He feels guilty about his abuse and cannot kiss her. Then he relizes that he must relive the experience to heal from it and he describes the experience when he was a 10 year old boy.

Lyrics

Still there frozen, behind my disguise.
It?s a secret world known to him and I.
Still there frozen, holding on to my past.
Let?s stop blaming the boy and get on with the task.
Stood there frozen.

Nowhere to run and I didn?t dare tell
Been Locked up inside in my thirty-year cell.
Stood there frozen.

Stood there frozen, she looked in my eyes,
A beautiful girl of sixteen years.
Stood there frozen, she longed for a kiss.
Now this was a chance a good boy wouldn?t miss.
Stood there frozen.

Had nowhere to run and I didn?t dare tell
Been Locked up inside in my thirty-year hell.
Stood there frozen.

Don?t be afraid to let go of the past
It?s time to relive that fateful moment at last.

Stood there frozen, my face to the wall,
Just a young boy of ten years old.
Stood there frozen, felt that monster?s breath.
And I shamefully cried when the hands took hold.
Stood there frozen.

Had nowhere to run and I didn?t dare tell
Been Locked up inside in my thirty-year cell.
I stood there frozen. I stood there frozen.