Song Description

Funny and hip

Lyrics

CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED




When heavy decisions come up I don?t have to think twice
I?m so together Ann Landers writes me for advice
When world leaders get in a mess, I?m the expert they always request
What can I say, I was born that way,
Calm, Cool, and Collected.

In a car or a plane, at home, on the street, on the job,
Whatever comes up I can handle with dispatch, no prob
No matter how bumpy the ride, I take every pothole in stride,
For me nothing?s hard, on my business card it says
Calm, Cool, and Collected.

Verbal abuse leaves me mostly just mildly amused
Tell me to jump in the lake I just smile and refuse

I know how to pull out a plane when it pitches and rolls
When he?s in a tight spot Chuck Yeager hands me the controls
He knows when he?s in a jam, to call on the better man,
Nothing?s too tough when you?ve got the ?right stuff? and you?re
Calm, Cool, and Collected.

Princess Diana (Jackie O?Nassass) felt no one?s as charming as me
If I weren?t so modest I guess I?d be forced to agree

With ten seconds left in a game that one basket will win
The crowd has no doubt as to which one the coach will put in
I dribble, pivot and set, as my impossible shot clears the net,
The crowd goes berserk when I go to work so
Calm, Cool, and Collected

Spoken: ?Hello. Oh Hi Shag. Need some help with your freethrows. Sure I can help you out. A little more arch for starters. I?ve got a drill you?ll love. See you on tuesday.
Hello. Oh hi Tiger. Look man, I taught you everything I know. Obviously, you listened!!!






c 2001 Santiam Music