Story Behind The Song

The songwriter was feeling as though she was not following the right path in her life, and that she wasn't fulfilling her potential as an artist because of her own fears and insecurities.

Song Description

This song describes the frustration of not fulfilling one's potential, and feeling like there's a deep well of talents to offer to the world that would unlock a sense of happiness that seems to be just out of reach.

Lyrics

floating around in a teacup
with my eyes aimed straight down
but they're looking back up
i'm watching the light play
on the surface
thinking I like the way you taste
when you kiss
pass beneath the prayer flags
hush and be blessed
i'm still angry from the last time
i'm angry because this is not my best
i am not coffee
i am not tea
but i have something
so deep inside of me
that i can't get out
and i can't get in
and i can't get around
this sin
oh pass beneath the prayer flags
hush and be blessed
i'm still angry from the last time
i'm angry because
this is not my best
sitting here reckoning with
what i've missed
i'm sitting here reckoning
with a smile and a fist
and i'm sitting here reckoning
with what I'm for
sitting here knowing full well
that I could do more
at my best
you were green
i was too
we were both more
than either the one of us knew
I am warm
almost red
I have to see just
how much redder I can get
sitting here reckoning with what i've missed
sitting here reckoning
with a smile and a fist
sitting here reckoning with what I'm for
sitting here knowing full well
that I could do more
at my best
waiting around for the circus
gonna be a part time clown
and a full time masochist
I'm watching the crowd sway
through the spotlight
thinking I'll give them a taste
and I'll call it a night
pass beneath the prayer flags
hush and be blessed
I'm still angry from the last time
I'm angry because this is not
my best