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General Comments
Dear Densyl: As you know- I don't comment on instrumentation as my expertise lies in overall vision, marketability, lyrics, hooks, etc.. This song has a good vibe/feel to it- reminds me for some reason- of some of the ELO Petty type mid tempo songs...( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WJdTIqWXZ8)- this isn't the song I was trying to think of... but in the ballpark... Perhaps a bit of Travelling Willburys- too. You said "he told me he'd be interested in rerecording the song with another singer, new arrangements, lyrics, etc." (this is alot!!!) If I were you, you might want to try and perfect the kinks before deciding on recording. Recording can become expensive. And there are some great online Nashville song demo places- that can deliver a very good acoustic guitar, "country-sounding" vocal for next to nothing, which you may want to consider before diving into a paying recording project with someone. If for eg- this person wanted to become a cowriter with you, helping with lyrics and arrangements- since he thinks it's a hit- and record it for free- and take a percentage- then that might be worth considering- then you just pay 50/50 on a studio singer. The melody here is working pretty solidly and as you mentioned - the person had said- the lyric (needs some work). The lyric right now is a little vague. It's not that clear if this relationship was solid, a passing love affair viewed from a sentimental view of the past... For a listener to really care- they have to have a clear idea of what the two had together. It seems like a passing fancy- "met at the mall".... It seems like the girl has given up and gone away saying "music is your life" and then you're saying "I will always come back to you"- this is confusing. Are they or aren't they together? Be specific. Make us care. Why in the lyric would the woman want to wait? You're still telling her to hang around and wait.. Tell us why she should? Give us a bit more of the story.
Artist's Submitted Question:
Diana, Here's another song : Music Is My Life It's a country rock. I recently played in a concert (first time in 40 years) and I sang my song with the band. One member of this band (drummer) that was put together for this private event is also an arranger and producer and he told me he'd be interested in rerecording the song with another singer, new arrangements, lyrics, etc... He thinks this song could become a hit. So your critic and comments will help for sure Thanks Denis aka Densyl
Music is my life is a pretty vague, plain title. You might want to come up with a title with a bit more of a bite. "What I Left Behind" for eg- leaves the listener wondering. Try to get your listener actively involved to create interest in a song. "Music was is My Mistress, My First Love, ...those titles referring to music- say it in a more intriguing way. In this competitive world- especially country- a good title is king. Where are the rhymes in your verses? You need a consistent rhyme scheme here to make those verses as catchy as possible. Otherwise they lose their flow. A consistent pattern is your underlying foundation. The same goes for your hook- you need a good strong rhyme pattern- something that rhymes with "I'll always come back to you" for eg... You have to ask yourself what makes this a hit? What is unique in this song that would set it so far apart that it could compete with the other songs. Sure some country stars can sing about trucks- and Saturday night and make it a hit- cause they're already famous. But to pitch a song to country- it has got to be on fire and have a unique hook. The song has good possibilities, it has good flow to it. I would tweak the lyric- dig a bit deeper- paint a few more pictures... Add some rhymes to verses and hook. But musically- it has a great flow. Ask yourself is it more of a rock song- and should it be changed to country? Maybe, maybe not. Good luck!
Quote From Pro
The song has good possibilities, it has good flow to it.
Diana Williamson is head consultant in charge of licensing and acquisition for Themusiclibrary.org, a boutique publishing company that places music in film, TV and with recording artists. They have …