started out like a Steve Earl vibe...love the verses
hi Hank - Great job. - I needed a break from what I was doing ;)
The Vocal - per your question - is buried just little too much IMO - maybe raise up 2 db at least in the verses and a little more in the chorus as those heavier guitars come in. - Love the gravel in your voice.
Great title -
In the chorus: If you could find a less common rhyming word to go with heart (as opposed to apart) - Even the word start too as these rhyming words are so common and you're anything but. You're a fantastic writer so maybe elevate these lines a little with more interesting stuff: Think deeper or more visual Ex:
Art, (deck stacked against me like a work of art OR Abstract art) - It's busted Royal like state of the art - Fra
fragmented pieces like abstract art -
- It's broken permanently - state of the art - dart,
(I was the bullseye to her poison dart) - OR outsmart OR state of the art OR chart (off the......) - Inperfect rhymes like Transport - look up synonyms for broken and you'll have more words to work with to describe your heart.
Love the line - In aint that fun and it aint that funny.
Verse line: That mentions a twin brother - If this is your artist song I'd say fine, but if you're pitching it - this line may be too specific and feels like you reached again for too easy a rhyme: Look for some more imperfect rhymes like: wonder - sucker - rediscover
Best to you!!! - Jen
Another great Hank Thomas song. Great hook and solid lyrical support for it. Love the rhythm of the vocal in the verses. Lyric feels really in the pocket with the music and progression. My main criticism is the vocal. Many notes are slightly missed and sounds like he might have been ill, was nervous, in a hurry or a first timer. Not sure. He is overshooting on some of the notes and under on others. Doesn't feel like a vocal with conviction. Now if this is a pre-production demo, I don't have a problem at all. When shopping the song, it shouldn't be a problem, but it just might be sub-par enough to not get a complete listen....Tempo feels like it's draggin. If this was my song, I would increase it 10BPM at least and get a tenor to sing it....Hank, I hope I wasn't too critical. I generally am a little tougher on the stuff I like. That's the case here.
Kind of Steve Earl & Waylon Jennings, good chorus is short and to the point Music is modern and driving. harmony needs a real high vocal and volume other wis this song could fit today with no problem. Nice Job!
Great country song, very relatable, good subject matter, great title. Nice production, and guitar work. Vocals sounded good, upfront.
Hey Hank
Born With a Broken Heart is another example of your stellar lyric and song writing. Loved the swampy, edgy sound created by arrangement and instrumentation. It is distinct, and pulled me in from the start. The only thing distracting is background vocal which came across as a kind of "shadow" vocal. I don't know whether it's just the mix, but wherever it is in the mix, it is breaking up the strength of your lead. Not saying to eliminate the background vocal idea, but this one is diluting the lead and not adding to song overall. I get what you're trying to do with background vocal staying low, but maybe backgrounds arranged with more timbre separation, fatter, higher, might better serve. Don't know, just throwing it out there. All in all, this song really showcases your undeniable talent. All best, Hattie
Great title and hook...*****! Gritty and cool! Born to be a hit!