Story Behind The Song

an incident of date rape at the end of a relationship created this almost as a public information service. it's a new pain from an old wound.

Song Description

betrayal is the worst part of a break down in a relationship. sometimes the betrayal is emotional. at times it can be physical.... can it ever be made right again if it's both?

Lyrics

.. gently you stole.
i lay sleeping
saving my strength to free myself from your world til dawn
you weren?t supposed to be home from your sick tryst with the alternate chick


so so
gently you stole
and that was what confused me
awakening to kisses refused by me
awakening to caresses rejected by me
awakening to your soft touch still unwanted.

and everyone thinks there has to be always the tearing
and screaming and such the intense pain and the physical violence when
emotional violence is enough
all it needs to be rape is refusal.
and everything about me
from my strangely inebriated state
to my vocalization of protest
everything
about me said no
too weak to shove you off
weakened from whatever drug slipped in my one glass of wine
you killed part of me with your slow soft attack
and before i was fully awakened in confusion
shoving you away as best as i could

but not good enough because

gently you stole
entering my temple with swift desecration
so i went vacant from my body in stare to wall until you were done
and about an hour later when i could stand alone
i peeled my tears from the sole of my soul
sat in the bathroom
and cried for about two days
i think
because sometimes i wonder if i ever stopped crying
and
sometimes i wonder if i ever will

no matter how gently you steal into me
it?s still rape....