Story Behind The Song

After my first colonoscopy, I wrote this song as just a funny "party song" that people could sing along to. I played it at parties and fundraisers and it was enjoyed by all. So far, one person has told me that they heard my song and went for a colonoscopy, and it saved his life! Enjoy the song, sing along, and (if you're over 50) get a colonoscopy right away.

Song Description

This is a fun song that can best be appreciated by people over 50 who have gone through the experience of having a colonoscopy, or are over 50 and haven't had one yet. It is the true story of my colonoscopy , put to music with a sing along chorus. Listen, sing along, have fun, and if you're over 50 get scheduled for a cholonoscopy- It could save your life!

Lyrics

Colonoscopy Song (aka Take a Look Up Me)
Copyright 2004 by Fred Ashforth

It?s really tough, turning fifty
The doctor's got a plan for you
Starts talkin? tests & procedures
Says this is what he?s gonna do.

I said hold it, wait just a second
Somethin? here, just don?t seem right
Explained it and it seems fishy, but
I?ll do it, and I won?t put up a fight

(Chorus)
It?s a colonoscopy
Come take a look and see
Clean that scope
With Ivory soap
I?ll roll, take a look up me.

I?ll tell ya, I?m pretty nervous
It?s a weird feelin? deep in my gut
The idea of him takin? pictures
With a big scope up my but

Wondered what, he?ll see in there
Will he get lost without a map
It?ll be dark, really dark in there
As he maneuvers through all that crap

Chorus

But wait, you want me to drink what
To clean out my innards real good
And wow, that stuff cleaned me
Better than a roto-rooter could

All night, my bowels a rumblin?
Unbelievable smells and sounds
My wife?s theory stood corrected
By morning I?d lost 10 pounds.

Chorus

As I walked into the hospital
Did the ?hold the cheeks in? dance
Sneezed in the blinding sunlight
Let loose in my new white pants

The nurse, after doing the papers
Asked would I like another go at the pot
It was nice of her to offer, but
I?d gone in the parking lot.

Chorus

Bridge
If you, you are over 50
Get checked, don?t take a chance
But don?t laugh, cough or sneeze
And always where your brown pants.

Chorus