Song Description

By modernizing the score to Pirates of Penzance I hope to open the door to the absurd kookiness of Gilbert's book and lyrics for a whole new generation of audiences, designers, choreographers, and directors.

Lyrics

When Frederic was a little lad he proved so brave and daring,
His father thought he'd 'prentice him to some career sea faring.
I was, alas, his nursery maid and so it fell to my lot,
To take and bind the promising boy apprentice to a pilot.
A live not bad for a hardy lad though surely not a high lot.
Though I'm a nurse you might do worse than make your boy a pilot.

I was a stupid nursery maid, on breakers always steering,
And I did not catch the word aright through being hard of hearing.
Mistaking my instructions which within my brain did gyrate,
I took and bound this promising boy apprentice to a pirate!
A sad mistake, it was to make, and doom him to a vile lot,
I bound him to a pirate, you, instead of to a pilot.

I soon found out beyond all doubt, the scope of his disaster,
But I hadn't the face to return to the place and break it to my master.
A nursery maid is not afraid of what you people call work.
So I made up my mind to go as a kind of Piratical maid of all work.
And that is how you find me now, a member of your shy lot,
which you wouldn't have found had he been bound apprentice to a pilot.